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teo_sherry{at}hotmail{dot}com
hahas. just wanna post this. for the fun of it! (:
HO HO HO! SURPRISE SURPRISE!
i just like to vend my frustrauations out. that's all.
apparently left 3 more months to a's.
ain't comforting.
i dint know that for such a short period of time, many things can just take place.
i tell ya, all it takes is one month.
friday was the moment that i had a breakdown.
was stupid and silly when i think back.
but u've just gotta have these moments.
or i'll just crack.
no one knew, cept one.
i duno.
i dun want to appear weak.
silly thought.
but then agan, u cant actually blame on me.
who wants to appear weak when everybody is acting strong.
that's just my perception.
i m always telling people around not to be naive.
but i never take a good look at myself.
im actually the naive one.
to think that i always thought that i am a mature person.
a confident one, with enough air to even spur on the less confident ones.
yeah right.
who am i supposed to kid, myself i guess.
i thought i really knew me, but God has helped to self check and re-check.
i guess it only comes to this age when u finally understood things and can reason out yourself.
but then again, perhaps when i look back in the future, i will laugh heartily at this entry.
in fact, im proud that i was naive and now i know.
one month.
one month i took to prepare for my prelims.
one month i stayed at home, mugged my way through.
one month that i would say practically cut my relations with people.
wow.
i actually went into "hiding" that i planned to.
my agenda was to concentrate on one thing, and i did.
didnt actually got my expected results and worse still, had a great disappointment.
one month yeah, and i got a shock.
i wouldnt say im really sad... wouldnt be bothered bout it.
then something else i had to know that struck the final cord.
why?
why?
i have always look upon them from the begining of last year.
i always had that silent faith in all of us, that we are the best.
nothing could spoil the bond and we shall mug our way through and beat the highest record.
someone said that the higher your hopes are, the greater your disappointment.
how true.
and apparently, this skeptism and doubt and distrust within me is building.
Dear Lord, pls forgive me.
Erase whatever thoughts i have about them.
Prove me wrong Lord.
But honestly, i was proven right.
It was and is a facade.
I can't believe it.
That's the feeling i got and am getting
Distant distant.
It doesn't matter now.
I understand.
I am the way i am, its up to the rest.
Im true to who i am, i know. ha ha.
Im just sad.
terribly upset
and wonder why...
...
...
No man is an island himself.
I am not island. So i guess i would survive.
aahh...
i am starting to get a bit aggitated about myself.
why?
i duno either.
and...im losing my appetite.
signs of stress/depression?
ok too extreme.
i have no clue about myself either.
im really elated and excited to see people around me
did well for their A's.
it gets me feeling all motivated and helps to think positively.
but i know this feeling will wear off.
i will soon get drained out and sucked right out of my life.
and right now, i totally dun feel like doing anything at all.
sian...zZZzZZZzz...
!!!
but i guess its ok.
to be worn out and stuff.
lol.
its all for that A, A and A.
i dun wanna regret again
like how i regretted for my O's.
ah Sherry Teo,
pls jia you!
another thing i can add to the FIRST AID OF THE HEART:
Shopping!!! One of the best remedies.
"So we shout! To you God of creation...let it out!!!"
feeling happy again.
seeing "all" the happy faces...
was a great game last night.
really great.
quite anxious for them tho.
was holding my breath for the last few mins
during the last quater.
super exciting.
^^
"C" for Chinese. Cool too.
i had a vision of it before i came to school.
sounds dumb but yeah...seriously.
and what d'you know, it's true.
i was kinda of hoping it would be a B
but surprisingly, i think its ok.
yea...its ok, i guess.
i think it was my paper that pull me up...
hmm...
it's comforting to know that...
right...i shall lie to myself about that. lol.
but it all the more motivates me want to do well for the rest.
yupp yupp.
jia you jia you!FIRST AID FOR THE HEART#1) Bible #2) Exercises...focus on getting flat abs/lose weight/etc...#3) Praise/Worship/Hip Hop songs...(No emo songs allowed) #4) CrossStitch. stitch your way to satisfaction and stitches your heart as well.#5) Disney Channel/Cartoon networkmore to be added...i just formed a duo with Shuhan yesterday."Hei Bai Jie Mei Hua"lol.cute.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHAN AND YONG WEI!!!
im pretty happy today.
can't seem to say why.
but yea...just happy.
(:
if only...
if only...
"And i'll sing...sing...i love You so..."
i feel that my blog entries are getting quite dramatic.
but it's where i can see the action of my life is.
and also iron out the thoughts out of my head.
*shrugs*
gah!
after blabbering and ranting to Afiq and Adil today,
i definitely felt much better.
thanks guys...your company does makes a lot of difference.
u guys cheered me up in your simplest of ways, cute and sweet,
thanks truckloads!
and Afiq,
you do realise that w/o your listening and advice and funny nonsense and all,
i probably lose out all my liveliness and the "me".
ok fine, so we were the ones privileged today
that you were the ONLY guy with us at Ikea.
lol. i say it once, and never would i say it again.
go on, savour the moment.
lol.
i shall grant u your bragging rights 'cuz i'd say u deserve it.
omg, im nice. lol.
enough of the blah blah stuff,
if i might say, im getting tired of myself too,
let alone the torture i put on my dear friends' ears for listening to my craziness.
thank God that now i totally lost all of what i had planned to blog initially
it's more than crazy i tell u.
my head now is blank, (exclude the part where i need to use it to know what to type.)
cuz' im just plain sleepy.
lol.
pig. but i just love sleeping.
Ikea was fun today.
first time going to the one that is near Pasir Ris.
after for so long.
super suaku but super cool luh...
u have like trollys for like carrying your tray...so cute.
Ate meatballs and chicken wings.
Yum Yum...pretty nice.
lol. it was a fun short time i had with Sue, Esther, MP, Jasmine and Afiq.
you guys just rock.
kk...sleep ler...tmr morning then wake up early.
apparently im developing black rings, later cuz of it people call me dao.
lol.
ehs, someone just said im dao.
tsk, im not loh. im nice!
i don't wanna be just some other girl...
"we're gonna shine your light so the world will see..."
school should seriously end early.like end at 12.40 everyday.total delusional but it makes a whole lot difference for me.ain't feeling right today so went back home early.totally spaced out throughout the 1 hour journey back to home.was thinking about something while walking up the stairsand w/o realising, i had walked up to the 4th story.super sotong.thank God no one was there, i was slapping myself while walking down backto the 3rd story.knockout the moment i lie on my bed.it was a good 2hr sleep, at least i feel more alive as compared when i was in lecture.school should seriously end early.the situation that im in is practically haunting me.trying not to think but its like its chasing after me to go deal with it.i guess im a person who wants answers,direct answers so i can close the case.i guess...i hate it dwindling there...for me to assume...to guess...to decipher any positive agendato search for hidden answers...i don't want to search.just give it to me can...Answers *snap snap* done, then think no more.i guess im a impatient person when voice down to this kinda thing.i want answers immediately.i want it now!im sorry, it seems as if im being childish and selfish here,demanding like kid...but *puppy-eyed* can i just be that kind of kid who you would just give in easily?im a deep thinker.i think alot.which is why im like this now.crap. why uh?why should i even think about it?i already know yet i fall into my own trap.crazy.aaahhh, Shuhan, Hi-5 for being the same species. lol.
it's great to have someone like u to understand.
makes things a whole lot less worse than i always thought it was.
appreciate it.
his friend, don't laugh eh.
not that i blame u.
but makes me feel as if im in some other guy's shoes...
makes me look dumb.
and weird.
im not weird.
*pouts*
study study study...
go go go...
(actually will he ever read my post...?)
"we gonna lift You high....we gonna lift You high..."
im really glad that i went to church today.
thank God.
service was really impactful.
Pastor Andrew was hilarious, and his simple ways of sharing was just great.
and it spoke to me.
a little kindness can make a difference.i've decided.i should just open up.don't care at all and just go with the flow.what for care if the person on the other side doesn't even know.so unfair.just give up...pfft.
"God is good."